I have to laugh a little when I look back at where God has carried me to since Christmas Eve of 2011. He has changed a lot in this life in 365 days, purging me of things that kept me from Him.
Like a multitude of sins.
And social media.
And boyfriends.
God dealt me my hardest year so far, but only that I might me made even an ounce more like his son.
He gave me the most refining year to date.
He has prepared me more to be a wife and a mother than I could have ever hoped.
Events that I prayed and prayed and prayed would be over soon, I now look back on and see how they strengthened me more than any fairy tale ending could have.
In the moment, I hated every minute of some days. Every single minute. Because I knew I was in the process of losing control of my own plans and wishes.
I dated men that I won't marry, and it's alright!
I know some of you will pity me for that, but I don't look back and regret those decisions. I have enjoyed being pursued by and getting to know young men that love Jesus, because there is a real-ness and an honesty there that is refreshing.
I have a job that I actually really enjoy. Even when the hours are long, I get to interact with people that make up the reality of the Bay Area. It has been a blessing to expand my perspective to more than a "bubble of believers".
Plus. A discount at Target? A blessing in itself.
Nepal? Lets face it, I could go on for days about that place and the people it holds. Absolutely everything is different now.
This Christmas Eve, I am in a place a hundred miles from where I was last Christmas Eve.
All has changed.
But, once again, it's time to play the traditional Christmas Eve Monopoly with my parents and brothers.
Some things haven't changed at all.
I cannot wait to tell you about 2013.
Monday, December 24, 2012
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Christmas and Missions
“'As you sent me into the world, so I have sent them into the world.' (John 17:18)
Christmas is a model for missions. Missions is a mirror of Christmas. As I, so you.
For example, danger. Christ came to his own and his own received him not. So you. They plotted against him. So you. He had no permanent home. So you. They trumped up false charges against him. So you. They whipped and mocked him. So you. He died after three years of ministry. So you.
But there is a worse danger than any of these which Jesus escaped. So you!!
In the mid-16th century Francis Xavier (1506–1552), a Catholic missionary, wrote to Father Perez of Malacca (today part of Indonesia) about the perils of his mission to China. He said,
'The danger of all dangers would be to lose trust and confidence in the mercy of God. . . To distrust him would be a far more terrible thing than any physical evil which all the enemies of God put together could inflict on us, for without God’s permission neither the devils nor their human ministers could hinder us in the slightest degree.'
The greatest danger a missionary faces is to distrust the mercy of God. If that danger is avoided, then all other dangers lose their sting.
God makes every dagger a scepter in our hand. As J.W. Alexander says, “Each instant of present labor is to be graciously repaid with a million ages of glory.”
Christ escaped the danger of distrust. Therefore God has highly exalted him!
Remember this Advent that Christmas is a model for missions. As I, so you. And that mission means danger. And that the greatest danger is distrusting God’s mercy. Succumb to this and all is lost. Conquer here and nothing can harm you for a million ages."
-"Dangerous Mission"
Christmas is a model for missions. Missions is a mirror of Christmas. As I, so you.
For example, danger. Christ came to his own and his own received him not. So you. They plotted against him. So you. He had no permanent home. So you. They trumped up false charges against him. So you. They whipped and mocked him. So you. He died after three years of ministry. So you.
But there is a worse danger than any of these which Jesus escaped. So you!!
In the mid-16th century Francis Xavier (1506–1552), a Catholic missionary, wrote to Father Perez of Malacca (today part of Indonesia) about the perils of his mission to China. He said,
'The danger of all dangers would be to lose trust and confidence in the mercy of God. . . To distrust him would be a far more terrible thing than any physical evil which all the enemies of God put together could inflict on us, for without God’s permission neither the devils nor their human ministers could hinder us in the slightest degree.'
The greatest danger a missionary faces is to distrust the mercy of God. If that danger is avoided, then all other dangers lose their sting.
God makes every dagger a scepter in our hand. As J.W. Alexander says, “Each instant of present labor is to be graciously repaid with a million ages of glory.”
Christ escaped the danger of distrust. Therefore God has highly exalted him!
Remember this Advent that Christmas is a model for missions. As I, so you. And that mission means danger. And that the greatest danger is distrusting God’s mercy. Succumb to this and all is lost. Conquer here and nothing can harm you for a million ages."
-"Dangerous Mission"
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Find Joy
"When they saw the star, they rejoiced exceedingly with great joy. After coming into the house they saw the Child with Mary His mother; and they fell to the ground and worshiped Him. Then, opening their treasures, they presented to Him gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh." (Matthew 2:10–11)
One of my devotionals walked through Matthew 2:10-11 today.
Do I, and we, bring everything we have to the feet of Christ? Saying, "I want to find joy in nothing but Jesus"?
The magi knew not what Jesus would do in his life, let alone of his work on the cross, yet they still brought him gifts of great value. Not because Christ needed them, but rather that they might say "Take these, for you are more precious to me than any worldly thing."
That is something I battle daily, as I think a lot of us do. Is Jesus more precious to me than any thing, person, concept, dream, goal, or success?
He is ALL we need.
Let us lay everything, that pails in comparison to the joy of knowing him, at his feet.
One of my devotionals walked through Matthew 2:10-11 today.
Do I, and we, bring everything we have to the feet of Christ? Saying, "I want to find joy in nothing but Jesus"?
The magi knew not what Jesus would do in his life, let alone of his work on the cross, yet they still brought him gifts of great value. Not because Christ needed them, but rather that they might say "Take these, for you are more precious to me than any worldly thing."
That is something I battle daily, as I think a lot of us do. Is Jesus more precious to me than any thing, person, concept, dream, goal, or success?
He is ALL we need.
Let us lay everything, that pails in comparison to the joy of knowing him, at his feet.
Monday, December 10, 2012
Knock Me Down, and Drag Me Out
Jersey was a blessing. I will tell you all about it.
Soon.
But first?
I wish I was one who learned quickly, who saw her mistakes as they were laid out in front of her, and didn't need to be dragged through the trenches kicking and screaming to see the err in her ways.
When my pride is at its worst, and sin is taking ahold of this life, it often results in a knockdown dragout fight between myself and the Lord.
And it is solely by his grace that I can eventually succumb to his tender words of "Enough, child. Enough."
I know that it is because of his great love for his people that we are shown our need for him.
He disciplines those he loves.
His kindness is what leads us to repentance.
But so often, I wish that the road was easier. That there was a less painful way for the Father to make us like Christ. That we didn't have to hurt each other in the process of figuring out what this life is to look like.
Our God is one of grace, forgiveness, and peace.
So I am thankful for the knockdowns and the dragouts. For the midnight phone calls. For the anger-driven chats in the center of Times Square. For the mile-long e-mails that I never want to open. For all the tough conversations on park benches, sidewalks, and front steps.
Because they've drawn me closer to Jesus, by showing me my desperate need of him and only him.
Soon.
But first?
I wish I was one who learned quickly, who saw her mistakes as they were laid out in front of her, and didn't need to be dragged through the trenches kicking and screaming to see the err in her ways.
When my pride is at its worst, and sin is taking ahold of this life, it often results in a knockdown dragout fight between myself and the Lord.
And it is solely by his grace that I can eventually succumb to his tender words of "Enough, child. Enough."
I know that it is because of his great love for his people that we are shown our need for him.
He disciplines those he loves.
His kindness is what leads us to repentance.
But so often, I wish that the road was easier. That there was a less painful way for the Father to make us like Christ. That we didn't have to hurt each other in the process of figuring out what this life is to look like.
Our God is one of grace, forgiveness, and peace.
So I am thankful for the knockdowns and the dragouts. For the midnight phone calls. For the anger-driven chats in the center of Times Square. For the mile-long e-mails that I never want to open. For all the tough conversations on park benches, sidewalks, and front steps.
Because they've drawn me closer to Jesus, by showing me my desperate need of him and only him.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Shorebound
We are headed to the Jersey Shore TONIGHT!
The day has finally arrived.
Pray for us?
For safety.
For attitudes.
For travels.
For weather.
For intentional relationships.
For humility.
For grace.
And for Christ to be made much of, in the cleaning out of muddy homes and sorting through of people's treasured possessions.
Monday, November 26, 2012
Undone
This passage undoes me.
Every single time.
"And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience—among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." Ephesians 2:1-9
Every single time.
"And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience—among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." Ephesians 2:1-9
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Cross-Training
With leaving for New Jersey in three days, I was discussing with a co-worker at work today about whether I was ready or not.
The answer was clearly no.
So, we decided to do a little cross-training in the huge walk-in freezer and two fridges we have at work.
You see, I work in the backroom, so we do some pretty funny and entertaining things throughout our long shifts. It helps to get through the crazies.
We bundle up in the knee-length fur-lined jackets we're provided, and head on in to pull whatever is needed from the freezer or fridge.
I'm starting to be able to handle up to four minutes in the freezer, and seven in the fridges, before my eyelashes start gathering frost.
Mind you, the freezer is 0 degrees Fahrenheit, so around -18 degrees Celsius.
It won't be near that cold in NJ, but one cannot be over-prepared.
Bring on the cold weather and warm hearts.
The answer was clearly no.
So, we decided to do a little cross-training in the huge walk-in freezer and two fridges we have at work.
You see, I work in the backroom, so we do some pretty funny and entertaining things throughout our long shifts. It helps to get through the crazies.
We bundle up in the knee-length fur-lined jackets we're provided, and head on in to pull whatever is needed from the freezer or fridge.
I'm starting to be able to handle up to four minutes in the freezer, and seven in the fridges, before my eyelashes start gathering frost.
Mind you, the freezer is 0 degrees Fahrenheit, so around -18 degrees Celsius.
It won't be near that cold in NJ, but one cannot be over-prepared.
Bring on the cold weather and warm hearts.
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Work!
I'm tired.
A kind of tired I haven't known in quite a while.
My days are full. Full of nine hour work days, and any extra time on either end is full of family and friends.
And I'm sore.
Boy, am I sore.
My new occupation is more of a workout than I could have ever imagined. Walking, running, climbing, carrying, reaching, pulling, pushing...
My muscles are growing, but it's a painful process.
And my bruised knees and shins are great conversation starters.
Long story short, work is good. Tiring, but so good.
Good for my brain, good for my soul, and good for my body.
The last two days and the next four are crazy.
Thanksgiving and Black Friday were a frenzy of football, food, family, and freaking insane shoppers.
The next four are full of four all-day shifts, and packing for Sandy relief.
Four days from right now, we will be at the airport awaiting our red-eye to Philly.
As in, 96 hours from now.
And I have no idea where I am going to find clothes warm enough to survive over there.
Full days, but fulfilling days.
Crazy days, but good days.
"For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God. So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:15-18
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Kings & Queens
A well done and well made song and video by Audio Adrenaline.
I encourage you to watch and listen.
Makes me want to play soccer and have paint powder wars with children for the rest of my days.
You feel the same?
Let's do it.
Be Jesus to the least.
I encourage you to watch and listen.
Makes me want to play soccer and have paint powder wars with children for the rest of my days.
You feel the same?
Let's do it.
Be Jesus to the least.
Friday, November 16, 2012
Noses and Rings and Noses
I never thought a small piece of metal could lead to such disagreement.
The location of that piece of metal might be a key factor in what is making it controversial.
It's in my nose.
Sometimes it's just a tiny little shiny stud, and sometimes it's a hoop shape.
To me? Big deal.
Both are just an accessory.
And I've had it for over a year now.
But to a few people recently?
It's the END. Of the freaking WORLD.
Drama-rama all across this city.
This house, especially.
But you know what I think? Even though sometimes I can't remember why I even got my nose pierced to begin with?
If my bosses are down with it, I'm down with it.
And if Nepal's down with it, I'm all about it.
And I have attachment issues, so I don't think I could really let it go just yet.
Plus, it's the best when you're washing your face at night while on speaker phone and your purity ring gets caught on your nose hoop and you have to end the call with your elbow while the beads in your exfoliating facewash burn your eyes out of their sockets while your hand is STUCK to your FACE.
Yeah, it'll be gone by the time I'm 25.
The location of that piece of metal might be a key factor in what is making it controversial.
It's in my nose.
Sometimes it's just a tiny little shiny stud, and sometimes it's a hoop shape.
To me? Big deal.
Both are just an accessory.
And I've had it for over a year now.
But to a few people recently?
It's the END. Of the freaking WORLD.
Drama-rama all across this city.
This house, especially.
But you know what I think? Even though sometimes I can't remember why I even got my nose pierced to begin with?
If my bosses are down with it, I'm down with it.
And if Nepal's down with it, I'm all about it.
And I have attachment issues, so I don't think I could really let it go just yet.
Plus, it's the best when you're washing your face at night while on speaker phone and your purity ring gets caught on your nose hoop and you have to end the call with your elbow while the beads in your exfoliating facewash burn your eyes out of their sockets while your hand is STUCK to your FACE.
Yeah, it'll be gone by the time I'm 25.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Bonhoeffer: Spirit v. Flesh
“When all is said and done, the life of faith is nothing if not an unending struggle of the spirit with every available weapon against the flesh.”
― Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost Of Discipleship
Because we all could use a little Bonhoeffer at the end of a long day.
The life of a young person is a constant battle of his or her spirit against his or her flesh.
Those who disagree, are lying.
― Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost Of Discipleship
Because we all could use a little Bonhoeffer at the end of a long day.
The life of a young person is a constant battle of his or her spirit against his or her flesh.
Those who disagree, are lying.
Monday, November 12, 2012
Veterans
At Hope Church this past Sunday, we were blessed to get to learn from a guest pastor, Daniel Thomas, who is a United States Marine.
There are no "former Marines" or "ex-Marines". As he informed us, "Once a Marine, always a Marine." So even though Daniel is now living live with his wife and two children, as a youth pastor of a large church, he is still a Marine.
He spoke on Ephesians 6, and told us great stories of life in the armed forces.
The rifle that a Marine is issued, never leaves his side.
He knows every single millimeter of that rifle.
That rifle is never to be more than an arm's length away.
For the Marine, his weapon is a rifle.
For the Christian, his weapon is the Scriptures.
To be never more than an arm's length away, metaphorically.
To be known inside and out.
On Veterans Day, to get to hear how God used the life of a Marine to make His name magnified, was a treasure.
Daniel mentioned that we are all shaped by our experiences. Though we are all made new in Christ, we each are still a product of what we have endured through our lives.
Our experiences will continue to shape how we view our circumstances and what comes our way.
A Marine may always make comparisons between their current life and their time in battle.
The former alcoholic may never be able to scan the drinks page on a restaurant menu.
I might always have a hard time trusting young men and their intentions.
We are all shaped by our experiences.
But we are all made free in Christ.
"For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery." Galatians 5:1
Let's keep that in mind as we love on those we encounter.
Because we may have no idea where they have walked.
There are no "former Marines" or "ex-Marines". As he informed us, "Once a Marine, always a Marine." So even though Daniel is now living live with his wife and two children, as a youth pastor of a large church, he is still a Marine.
He spoke on Ephesians 6, and told us great stories of life in the armed forces.
The rifle that a Marine is issued, never leaves his side.
He knows every single millimeter of that rifle.
That rifle is never to be more than an arm's length away.
For the Marine, his weapon is a rifle.
For the Christian, his weapon is the Scriptures.
To be never more than an arm's length away, metaphorically.
To be known inside and out.
On Veterans Day, to get to hear how God used the life of a Marine to make His name magnified, was a treasure.
Daniel mentioned that we are all shaped by our experiences. Though we are all made new in Christ, we each are still a product of what we have endured through our lives.
Our experiences will continue to shape how we view our circumstances and what comes our way.
A Marine may always make comparisons between their current life and their time in battle.
The former alcoholic may never be able to scan the drinks page on a restaurant menu.
I might always have a hard time trusting young men and their intentions.
We are all shaped by our experiences.
But we are all made free in Christ.
"For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery." Galatians 5:1
Let's keep that in mind as we love on those we encounter.
Because we may have no idea where they have walked.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
10 on 10
10th of November.
10 un-edited iPhone captures.
Or 8.
Here goes.
6:30 AM
Nepali tapestry bedspread.
7:30 AM
Pre-orientation.
I got a haircut, people.
And I voted.
8:30 AM
The Pilot's heated seats are a life-saver these cold mornings.
9:30 AM
Waiting for paperwork to clear at orientation.
Insert 5 hours of work orientation, where I didn't feel like photographing anything whatsoever.
3:30 PM
Late afternoon reading.
In my bed.
:)
4:30 PM
Did you know they make these?
Yeah, sorry.
Target team members only.
7:30 PM
Waiting in line to see Skyfall, my very first James Bond movie experience. And let me tell you.
It was worth it.
Daniel Craig? Lets get married and have very blue-eyed children.
It's okay that you're 30 years older than me.
Your arms and back muscles make up for that.
11:30 PM
I love when friends call to catch up, and allow me to sit at my favorite look-out spot up the street from my house and watch over San Mateo as it goes to sleep.
Well, that was my 10th! Not very exciting, I know, but I am thankful for a job, for rest, and for friends.
And just for kicks? Hayden and I discussed real-life topics today.
Like dogs.
10 un-edited iPhone captures.
Or 8.
Here goes.
Nepali tapestry bedspread.
Pre-orientation.
I got a haircut, people.
And I voted.
The Pilot's heated seats are a life-saver these cold mornings.
Waiting for paperwork to clear at orientation.
Insert 5 hours of work orientation, where I didn't feel like photographing anything whatsoever.
Late afternoon reading.
In my bed.
:)
Did you know they make these?
Yeah, sorry.
Target team members only.
Waiting in line to see Skyfall, my very first James Bond movie experience. And let me tell you.
It was worth it.
Daniel Craig? Lets get married and have very blue-eyed children.
It's okay that you're 30 years older than me.
Your arms and back muscles make up for that.
11:30 PM
I love when friends call to catch up, and allow me to sit at my favorite look-out spot up the street from my house and watch over San Mateo as it goes to sleep.
Well, that was my 10th! Not very exciting, I know, but I am thankful for a job, for rest, and for friends.
And just for kicks? Hayden and I discussed real-life topics today.
Like dogs.
Friday, November 9, 2012
Life with Anxiety
I didn't grow up a worrier.
Last summer, after a tough break-up, an immediate family member walking through a manic-depressive diagnosis, and my mom shattering her shoulder and being de-capacitated for 6 months, I started worrying.
In January of 2012, that worry developed into daily anxiety.
Debilitating bouts of fear, uncertainty and inadequacy, that made me leave school for a few days and head home.
I couldn't reason with myself; my brain was a force of its own.
I walked through last semester on a tightrope, teetering between great, fine, and falling to pieces.
It struck me hard in Nepal.
Christian counseling helps.
Friends help.
But Jesus triumphs.
Do you endure anxiety? It's a scary fact of life for some of us, that can often be associated with a lack of faith.
Read this.
Love you.
"When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. (Psalm 56:3)
One possible response to the truth that our anxiety is rooted in our failure to live by faith in future grace goes like this: 'I have to deal with feelings of anxiety almost every day; and so I feel like my faith in God’s grace must be totally inadequate. So I wonder if I can have any assurance of being saved at all.'
My response to this concern is: Suppose you are in a car race and your enemy, who doesn’t want you to finish the race, throws mud on your windshield. The fact that you temporarily lose sight of your goal and start to swerve does not mean that you are going to quit the race.
And it certainly doesn’t mean that you are on the wrong racetrack. Otherwise, the enemy wouldn’t bother you at all. What it means is that you should turn on your windshield wipers and use your windshield washer.
When anxiety strikes and blurs our vision of God’s glory and the great¬ness of the future that he plans for us, this does not mean that we are faith¬less, or that we will not make it to heaven. It means our faith is being attacked.
At first blow, our belief in God’s promises may sputter and swerve. But whether we stay on track and make it to the finish line depends on whether, by grace, we set in motion a process of resistance — whether we fight back against the unbelief of anxiety. Will we turn on the windshield wipers and will we use our windshield washer?
Psalm 56:3 says, “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.”
Notice: it does not say, “I never struggle with fear.” Fear strikes, and the battle begins. So the Bible does not assume that true believers will have no anxieties. Instead, the Bible tells us how to fight when they strike."
Last summer, after a tough break-up, an immediate family member walking through a manic-depressive diagnosis, and my mom shattering her shoulder and being de-capacitated for 6 months, I started worrying.
In January of 2012, that worry developed into daily anxiety.
Debilitating bouts of fear, uncertainty and inadequacy, that made me leave school for a few days and head home.
I couldn't reason with myself; my brain was a force of its own.
I walked through last semester on a tightrope, teetering between great, fine, and falling to pieces.
It struck me hard in Nepal.
Christian counseling helps.
Friends help.
But Jesus triumphs.
Do you endure anxiety? It's a scary fact of life for some of us, that can often be associated with a lack of faith.
Read this.
Love you.
"When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. (Psalm 56:3)
One possible response to the truth that our anxiety is rooted in our failure to live by faith in future grace goes like this: 'I have to deal with feelings of anxiety almost every day; and so I feel like my faith in God’s grace must be totally inadequate. So I wonder if I can have any assurance of being saved at all.'
My response to this concern is: Suppose you are in a car race and your enemy, who doesn’t want you to finish the race, throws mud on your windshield. The fact that you temporarily lose sight of your goal and start to swerve does not mean that you are going to quit the race.
And it certainly doesn’t mean that you are on the wrong racetrack. Otherwise, the enemy wouldn’t bother you at all. What it means is that you should turn on your windshield wipers and use your windshield washer.
When anxiety strikes and blurs our vision of God’s glory and the great¬ness of the future that he plans for us, this does not mean that we are faith¬less, or that we will not make it to heaven. It means our faith is being attacked.
At first blow, our belief in God’s promises may sputter and swerve. But whether we stay on track and make it to the finish line depends on whether, by grace, we set in motion a process of resistance — whether we fight back against the unbelief of anxiety. Will we turn on the windshield wipers and will we use our windshield washer?
Psalm 56:3 says, “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.”
Notice: it does not say, “I never struggle with fear.” Fear strikes, and the battle begins. So the Bible does not assume that true believers will have no anxieties. Instead, the Bible tells us how to fight when they strike."
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Hurricanes
I came to know Jesus in the midst of destruction left behind by a hurricane.
Serving alongside 30 people I barely knew, on a trip that none of my friends (at the time) went on.
Little did I know, those people I served with would be made into my family.
And still are today.
We would proceed to go on two more trips after Katrina together.
And plant Hope Church together.
On that first trip, at a stupid sixteen years old, Jesus called me out of my sin, showing me so clearly that this world is not about me, and my life is not my own.
I became a believer in Jesus Christ on a Thursday night in a water-damaged church on the coast of Mississippi, surrounded by people I barely knew, but that I would later call my Pastor, my wise counsel, and my best friends.
From that night onward, I knew that the rest of my years would be spent in service of He who knit me together.
Absolutely everything changed.
It began a period of burning away what once was, and replacing my old ways with ones that glorified the Father.
He made me brand new.
In less than three weeks, we're headed to a hurricane disaster zone.
I cannot lie; I am nervous.
And I just know, He is going to be tearing us apart and stripping us of what does not matter.
Pray for New Jersey.
Pray for groups that are headed there.
That God would be magnified through a region losing everything they held dear.
That people would come to know that the Lord is the only one who never fails, and the only thing we should be found clinging to in a storm.
And that He would make new what has been destroyed.
Serving alongside 30 people I barely knew, on a trip that none of my friends (at the time) went on.
Little did I know, those people I served with would be made into my family.
And still are today.
We would proceed to go on two more trips after Katrina together.
And plant Hope Church together.
On that first trip, at a stupid sixteen years old, Jesus called me out of my sin, showing me so clearly that this world is not about me, and my life is not my own.
I became a believer in Jesus Christ on a Thursday night in a water-damaged church on the coast of Mississippi, surrounded by people I barely knew, but that I would later call my Pastor, my wise counsel, and my best friends.
From that night onward, I knew that the rest of my years would be spent in service of He who knit me together.
Absolutely everything changed.
It began a period of burning away what once was, and replacing my old ways with ones that glorified the Father.
He made me brand new.
In less than three weeks, we're headed to a hurricane disaster zone.
I cannot lie; I am nervous.
And I just know, He is going to be tearing us apart and stripping us of what does not matter.
Pray for New Jersey.
Pray for groups that are headed there.
That God would be magnified through a region losing everything they held dear.
That people would come to know that the Lord is the only one who never fails, and the only thing we should be found clinging to in a storm.
And that He would make new what has been destroyed.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
La-De-Dah
I am a little bit overwhelmed at all of the blog posts I want to put together to re-cap everything that's happened over the last week.
It's been freaking fun.
- Needtobreathe Adventure Day in Davis (and getting to meet the band...!!!)
- Winning the World Series (again)
- Halloween
- Lecrae Concert
- Job Interviews (and offers!)
- New Jersey trip planning
- All Souls Day: What It Means for My Family
My intentions are good.
I'll try to get these rolling ASAP.
In the meantime, choose joy people. Choose joy.
It's been freaking fun.
- Needtobreathe Adventure Day in Davis (and getting to meet the band...!!!)
- Winning the World Series (again)
- Halloween
- Lecrae Concert
- Job Interviews (and offers!)
- New Jersey trip planning
- All Souls Day: What It Means for My Family
My intentions are good.
I'll try to get these rolling ASAP.
In the meantime, choose joy people. Choose joy.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Pintertest Kitchen: October
See, if you haven't heard, our Giants won the World Series. Yes, yes they did. Again. And we watched most games all together, except for when some people got to go to the games, and the rest of us less fortunate would gather and watch.
For Game 3, we were each told to bring an appetizer.
Everyone brought a dip.
It was "Dip for Days" as I like to call it.
And when they got cold? We reheated.
Double dipping, if you will.
I made this Warm Bean Dip that I had been eye-ing on Pinterest for the last few weeks.
I think it was a hit.
I used non-fat cream cheese. non-fat sour cream, and fat-free cheese, and I am sure that using the regular full-fat versions would result in an even creamier dip.
But I wanted to do our hips and wastes a favor, so that we're able to dip into the pool and ocean next summer without crying in shame in the corner.
Yeah, you're welcome.
Dip-A-Palooza was a hit.
Head over to Jessica's to read more about dips and dips and more dips.
Monday, October 29, 2012
Wheels, or Lack Thereof
My little car that has carried me around for six years now, has hit the end of its road.
Metaphorically speaking.
We didn't crash.
Well, we did, actually.
Metaphorically speaking...
This is becoming a cyclical story.
My car's done-zo.
I wasn't too worried, because I like to drive my dad's pick-up truck that he rarely uses.
Until that broke on my way to World Series Mayhem 2012.
A couple of years ago, I tried to learn to drive a stick shift after my dad bought me a car to take down to school.
Long story short, I never learned, and also wrote off my brain as being incapable of multi-tasking.
I then took a couple lessons this past school year with a very kind friend that wanted me to be able to travel. He was very patient.
But I still didn't really learn.
Well, ta-dah.
It's time to learn.
I'm getting nauseous at the thought.
I'll be sure to keep you updated on that adventure; I'm sure you're dying to know how many times I'll freak out and stall on this wonderful hill that I brag about but now have to learn to drive on.
Great.
P.S.
Needtobreathe tomorrow in Davis, CA with six lovely ladies that I cannot wait to spend the day with! The Jelly Belly Factory does not know what's coming.
P.S.S.
Umm... We won the World Series. Kim wrote a great re-cap. I'm sure I'll get some pictures up here eventually.
Haters gonna hate.
Saturday, October 27, 2012
The Flashing Red Light
I have always loved living on the hill that my house is located on. It makes it difficult for friends to park sometimes, and people fly up and down the street like it's the Autobahn, but it's always made for a pretty fantastic view. We can see for days from up here, especially after the rain. What's with the rain making everything so much clearer? A parallel to the way Christ refines us through pain that draws us to him? I think so.
The ability to see so far away, drew my attention to a flashing red light at the beginning of high school. It sat far off in the distance, and I never really knew its location. It's a red light high up on a pole, and I sort of always assumed it was for low-flying airplanes that were coming in for landing at SFO. In fact, that theory may even be accurate. I just don't really know.
But the night that I found that flashing red light, was a night I was in huge trouble. Like, humongous trouble beyond what I am really willing to admit. Like, not allowed to leave the house for months except for school, trouble. Like, trouble that led to me having little more to do than stare out across the city of San Mateo and notice a small flashing red light.
I wasn't the best behaved high-schooler. It's fine.
I had hit a place where life was spinning so far out of my control, that God used a little red light to speak into a young heart that did not yet truly know Him.
That light made me feel small.
It calmed me.
It still calms me.
That light reminds me that there is greater purpose to this earth than what I could ever hope. It reminds me that the Lord has far greater things in store for me than I could arrange for myself.
Because even a small red light no more than ten miles from my home, does two things all at once. It makes me feel so very small, while reminding me that He reigns over each and every little thing.
Whether it's been a week or three months since I've been back home, that light still reminds me to calm down and know that He is greater.
I've stared at that light by myself, with my parents, with boyfriends, and with friends. I've stared at it from the living room window, from the deck, from across the street, from parked cars, and from the roof. I've stared at in each and every stage of life that the last eight years has brought to pass.
But I can never seem to find that little light on the horizon from any other vantage point but the one that comes with this property up on the hill.
Sometimes we have to remove ourselves, get higher, and dwell in the Almighty in order to get real perspective on this world and be shown just how intricately He has knit together His people and this planet.
We are His.
Hallelujah!
The ability to see so far away, drew my attention to a flashing red light at the beginning of high school. It sat far off in the distance, and I never really knew its location. It's a red light high up on a pole, and I sort of always assumed it was for low-flying airplanes that were coming in for landing at SFO. In fact, that theory may even be accurate. I just don't really know.
But the night that I found that flashing red light, was a night I was in huge trouble. Like, humongous trouble beyond what I am really willing to admit. Like, not allowed to leave the house for months except for school, trouble. Like, trouble that led to me having little more to do than stare out across the city of San Mateo and notice a small flashing red light.
I wasn't the best behaved high-schooler. It's fine.
I had hit a place where life was spinning so far out of my control, that God used a little red light to speak into a young heart that did not yet truly know Him.
That light made me feel small.
It calmed me.
It still calms me.
That light reminds me that there is greater purpose to this earth than what I could ever hope. It reminds me that the Lord has far greater things in store for me than I could arrange for myself.
Because even a small red light no more than ten miles from my home, does two things all at once. It makes me feel so very small, while reminding me that He reigns over each and every little thing.
Whether it's been a week or three months since I've been back home, that light still reminds me to calm down and know that He is greater.
I've stared at that light by myself, with my parents, with boyfriends, and with friends. I've stared at it from the living room window, from the deck, from across the street, from parked cars, and from the roof. I've stared at in each and every stage of life that the last eight years has brought to pass.
But I can never seem to find that little light on the horizon from any other vantage point but the one that comes with this property up on the hill.
Sometimes we have to remove ourselves, get higher, and dwell in the Almighty in order to get real perspective on this world and be shown just how intricately He has knit together His people and this planet.
We are His.
Hallelujah!
Friday, October 26, 2012
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Two Calls
I absolutely love it when what I am currently reading in the Scriptures lines up with what one of my devotionals is talking about. Reading through Ephesians in the last week has been somewhere between encouraging and overwhelming, wrestling through ideas of thanksgiving, the Lord's will, and being absolutely ruined at the truth of how caught up in the flesh I am. So, you can imagine that upon getting to the second chapter's concepts of being saved by grace through faith, I am swimming somewhere between "dazed" and "confused".
John Piper puts different application to the fifth verse of chapter two, focusing on the inability of men to do "missionary work" outside of the work of God. I love what Piper writes, especially as he compares our inability to God's sovereign ability to save souls and change lives. He writes, "the great missionary hope is that when the gospel is preached in the power of the Holy Spirit, God Himself does what man cannot do - He creates the faith that saves". God's call "raises the dead" and "creates spiritual life".
As men, "we can waken someone from sleep with our call, but God's call can summon into being things that are not".
"...as it is written, 'I have made you the father of many nations'—in the presence of the God in whom he believed, who gives life to the dead and calls into existence the things that do not exist." Romans 4:17
God's call is one that our own "call" cannot even comprehend; one that raises the dead, gives new hope, re-routes lives, and saves the lost.
I want to cling to that, and never, ever forget it.
When I watch friends stumble and fall, slamming their figurative heads and hearts against a wall for months, if not years, at a time, I want to remember that God's call is what can waken them from their stupor.
When days and weeks of trying to coax young boys off of the street and teenage girls out of the dance bars seem to be unfruitful, I want to hold fast to the fact that God's call can overcome all resistance.
When there are days that I quickly forget how faithful God has been in this life, I want to remember that God's call in my life, summoned into being things that were not.
Trust in the call of the Lord, friends, for His call and His grace are the sole things that can raise the dead, re-route the lost, and provide hope for the weary.
P.S. Nepal this summer? I'll keep you updated (:
(Below is Piper's devotional for October 24th.)
"Even when we were dead in our trespasses, [God] made us alive together with Christ - by grace you have been saved." Ephesians 2:5
"What missionary has not looked on his work and said, 'It's impossible!'? To which Jesus agrees, 'Yes, with man it is impossible.' No mere human being can liberate another human being from the enslaving power of the love of money.
The rich young ruler went away sorrowful because the bondage to things cannot be broken by man. With man it is impossible! And therefore missionary work, which is simply liberating the human heart from bondage to allegiances other than Christ, is impossible - with men!
If God were not in charge in this affair, doing the humanly impossible, the missionary task would be hopeless. Who but God can raise the spiritually dead and give them an ear for the gospel? 'Even when we were dead in our trespasses, [God] made us alive together with Christ' (Ephesians 2:5).
The great missionary hope is that when the gospel is preached in the power of the Holy Spirit, God Himself does what man cannot do - He creates the faith that saves. The call of God does what the call of man can't. It raises the dead. It creates spiritual life. It is like the call of Jesus to Lazarus in the tomb. 'Come forth!' (John 11:43).
We can waken someone from sleep with our call, but God's call can summon into being things that are not (Romans 4:17). God's call is irresistible in the sense that it can overcome all resistance. It is infallibly effective according to God's purpose - so much so that Paul can say, 'Those whom [God] called he also justified' (Romans 8:30).
In other words, God's call is so effectual that it infallibly creates the faith through which a person is justified. All the called are justified. But none is justified without faith (Romans 5:1). So the call of God cannot fail in its intended effect. It irresistibly secures the faith that justifies.
This is what man cannot do. It is impossible. Only God can take out the heart of stone (Ezekiel 36:26). Only God can draw people to the Son (John 6:44, 65). Only God can open the heart so that it gives heed to the gospel (Acts 16:14). Only the Good Shepherd knows His sheep by name.
He calls them and they follow (John 10:3-4, 14). The sovereign grace of God, doing the humanly impossible, is the great missionary hope."
-Desiring God, Multnomah Books (Colorado Springs, CO), pages 234-235
John Piper puts different application to the fifth verse of chapter two, focusing on the inability of men to do "missionary work" outside of the work of God. I love what Piper writes, especially as he compares our inability to God's sovereign ability to save souls and change lives. He writes, "the great missionary hope is that when the gospel is preached in the power of the Holy Spirit, God Himself does what man cannot do - He creates the faith that saves". God's call "raises the dead" and "creates spiritual life".
As men, "we can waken someone from sleep with our call, but God's call can summon into being things that are not".
"...as it is written, 'I have made you the father of many nations'—in the presence of the God in whom he believed, who gives life to the dead and calls into existence the things that do not exist." Romans 4:17
God's call is one that our own "call" cannot even comprehend; one that raises the dead, gives new hope, re-routes lives, and saves the lost.
I want to cling to that, and never, ever forget it.
When I watch friends stumble and fall, slamming their figurative heads and hearts against a wall for months, if not years, at a time, I want to remember that God's call is what can waken them from their stupor.
When days and weeks of trying to coax young boys off of the street and teenage girls out of the dance bars seem to be unfruitful, I want to hold fast to the fact that God's call can overcome all resistance.
When there are days that I quickly forget how faithful God has been in this life, I want to remember that God's call in my life, summoned into being things that were not.
Trust in the call of the Lord, friends, for His call and His grace are the sole things that can raise the dead, re-route the lost, and provide hope for the weary.
P.S. Nepal this summer? I'll keep you updated (:
(Below is Piper's devotional for October 24th.)
"Even when we were dead in our trespasses, [God] made us alive together with Christ - by grace you have been saved." Ephesians 2:5
"What missionary has not looked on his work and said, 'It's impossible!'? To which Jesus agrees, 'Yes, with man it is impossible.' No mere human being can liberate another human being from the enslaving power of the love of money.
The rich young ruler went away sorrowful because the bondage to things cannot be broken by man. With man it is impossible! And therefore missionary work, which is simply liberating the human heart from bondage to allegiances other than Christ, is impossible - with men!
If God were not in charge in this affair, doing the humanly impossible, the missionary task would be hopeless. Who but God can raise the spiritually dead and give them an ear for the gospel? 'Even when we were dead in our trespasses, [God] made us alive together with Christ' (Ephesians 2:5).
The great missionary hope is that when the gospel is preached in the power of the Holy Spirit, God Himself does what man cannot do - He creates the faith that saves. The call of God does what the call of man can't. It raises the dead. It creates spiritual life. It is like the call of Jesus to Lazarus in the tomb. 'Come forth!' (John 11:43).
We can waken someone from sleep with our call, but God's call can summon into being things that are not (Romans 4:17). God's call is irresistible in the sense that it can overcome all resistance. It is infallibly effective according to God's purpose - so much so that Paul can say, 'Those whom [God] called he also justified' (Romans 8:30).
In other words, God's call is so effectual that it infallibly creates the faith through which a person is justified. All the called are justified. But none is justified without faith (Romans 5:1). So the call of God cannot fail in its intended effect. It irresistibly secures the faith that justifies.
This is what man cannot do. It is impossible. Only God can take out the heart of stone (Ezekiel 36:26). Only God can draw people to the Son (John 6:44, 65). Only God can open the heart so that it gives heed to the gospel (Acts 16:14). Only the Good Shepherd knows His sheep by name.
He calls them and they follow (John 10:3-4, 14). The sovereign grace of God, doing the humanly impossible, is the great missionary hope."
-Desiring God, Multnomah Books (Colorado Springs, CO), pages 234-235
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Wordless Wednesday
All things bright and beautiful You are
All things wise and wonderful You are
In my darkest night, You brighten up the skies
A song will rise
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Azusa
Slow mornings in a house with nine other girls that put Jesus on display.
Getting to see all the boys and girls I miss so much.
Not much better.
"And he came and preached peace to you who were far off and peace to those who were near. For through him we both have access in one Spirit to the Father. So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone, in whom the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord." Ephesians 2:17-21
Getting to see all the boys and girls I miss so much.
Not much better.
"And he came and preached peace to you who were far off and peace to those who were near. For through him we both have access in one Spirit to the Father. So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone, in whom the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord." Ephesians 2:17-21
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Taxi Ride
Just for you, a typical taxi ride in Nepal.
And yes, we always put at least 4 in the back, if not 5, and sometimes 2 in the front.
You know, the norm.
Thy Will Be Done
"There are two kinds of people: those who say to God, 'Thy will be done,' and those to whom God says, 'All right, then, have it your way.'" - C.S. Lewis
So often, the only prayer that comes to my brain in the light of the mornings, in the doctor's office waiting room, as the phone rings, as I open my e-mail, and when I lay down at night, is "Thy will be done."
But there is only one reason that that specific prayer is even on my spectrum of awareness.
Because my plans are futile.
"Thy will be done" is the only thing that provides comfort to this heart and calms this sinner's anxiety.
For so long, God said to me "All right, then, have it your way." And I continued to sin, to stray far from him, and to flee from repentance and grace like an approaching tidal wave.
Succumb to the flood, friends. Be washed in the grace and mercy of the Lord who loves you and knows exactly where you have been. Soak in the overwhelming forgiveness and healing, and then emerge with one set of words on your tongue.
"Thy will be done."
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Baptism
Our little church plant turned two years old this past weekend and it was a beautiful testament to what the Lord has been doing in this community. I am so thankful that He has blessed me with the opportunity to be partaking in this body over the last two years, and especially the last few months. You can find a recap of the last few years at Hope over here at Kim's blog.
We re-capped the most recent trip to Sudan, which you can learn more about here, Dave talked about what Hope is and what we hope to continue to do in Sudan. After service, we headed up to the Turdici's home for a big barbeque, the Niners game, and guess what?
I got baptized, surrounded by people who have walked with me through the last ten years of mountaintops and valleys, who have seen me both far from and close to the Lord since He saved me six years ago. Even my mom was there, which is just further solidification of the fact that He is so much bigger than we could ever fathom.
"From now on, therefore, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we once regarded Christ according to the flesh, we regard him thus no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." 2nd Corinthians 5:16-21
Six of us got baptized this past sunday, October 14th, 2012. We are a funny bunch, with testimonies at every end of the spectrum.
But we are all one in Christ.
We have put on Christ, and Galatians takes on new meaning.
"Now before faith came, we were held captive under the law, imprisoned until the coming faith would be revealed. So then, the law was our guardian until Christ came, in order that we might be justified by faith. But now that faith has come, we are no longer under a guardian, for in Christ Jesus you are all sons of God, through faith. For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you are Christ's, then you are Abraham's offspring, heirs according to promise." Galatians 3:23-29
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